There are two reasons why you probably don’t cut your own hair.

1. Dignity.
2. The inability to see the back of your own head.

It’s exceedingly difficult to form an accurate assessment of your own physical form, to say nothing of your psychological self.

Here’s the next list.

When you perform a card reading, either for yourself or others, the results fall into two interrelated categories.

1. Predictions for events that will happen in the future.
2. Advice or suggestions for the best course of action as a result of these events.

And it’s point two that can sometimes throw up some problems.

In the TV business, there is a phenomenon called Third Person Perception. This is where you believe that TV advertising affects other people more than you. And it’s a cognitive error you usually hear spewing forth from some hipster douchebag in the corner of a living room during a party while he plays with his iPhone and adjusts his too-tight American Apparel jeans so that his CK underwear are showing just enough.

But it’s a cognitive error we all have. Even if, like me, you are literally responsible for at least some of the ads you see on TV.

It arises because it turns out that it is all-but-impossible to determine what is an unmotivated, rational decision on your behalf and what is the result of influence from personal media consumption, peer groups and so on. We are quite simply not self aware enough to give ourselves unbiased advice.

So this is where it gets a bit sticky when it comes to personal card readings.

Because the whole point of using randomly selected imagery printed onto pieces of cards is to fish up some advice from the back of your brain so you can put it into action.

And most of the time, this is fine. But I would suggest that there are some topics -which I’ll call “haircut topics”- where it might be better to recognise your cognitive limitations and seek the assistance of a professional third party… Even if it is just to benchmark against your own divinatory results.

Haircut topics

• Recent break ups.
• Deciding whether or not to leave that dirt bag even if he is your baby daddy.
• Predictions for business success (where it is your own business you are predicting for).
• Anything upsetting that causes a lump in your throat.
• Predictions for serious health issues for loved ones.

Haircut topics are determined by the fact that there is an outcome that you really want and that the consequences of not getting this outcome are severe.

The other reason they are similar

Haircuts and card readings are similar because they are “you time”. In an entirely non-sexual way (usually, although I did once date a hairdresser), you are paying someone to dedicate their professional services entirely to you for a period of time.

This improves serotonin levels, decreases blood pressure and provides all around psychological uplift.

Sometimes it’s the best course of action if you’re feeling low. A card reading and a dirty martini.

Who can feel bad after that?