Hence the need to remain hydrated.
Now, more than a century into the Aeon of Horus it occurs to me this is quite a good metaphor to understand the behaviour of the Church in the early twenty first century.
As their power diminishes, which it undoubtedly is in the First World, it releases stored toxins.
Stored toxins like the aspiring Presidential candidate who wants non-christians to leave the US and who thinks abortion is the same thing as slavery. (Seriously America, sort it out. He. Wants. To. Be. President.)
But America is a lot further behind than we are here in the expulsion of toxins. Poor things. Seems like every time the sane people take their eye off the ball for even a single second someone is trying to make women carry dead fetuses to term because that’s what cows and pigs do.
Before we continue it’s worth mentioning to the Christian-ish readers among you that this isn’t a ‘magic-bashing-Christianity’ post for two reasons.
- One, it’s not the frikking seventies.
- Two, hopefully by now this blog has demonstrated a more nuanced position when it comes to Jeebus.
No, this isn’t about belief. It’s about power. It’s almost an apocalypse post. (You know it’s the apocalypse when you’re siding with the Tories on issues of equality and human rights.)
It’s also about the inevitability of gay marriage in the Aeon of Horus because, as the Equalities Minister says, the church doesn’t own marriage.
Returning to the opening metaphor, gay marriage is going to release a lot of toxins because marriage is the only thing the church has left. It was against civil marriage, it was against equitable divorce laws, it was against paid maternity leave… each one diminished its powerbase and each one had to be snatched from it like a fat, mewling child and returned to its rightful owner (us). I don’t know anyone who’d leave their kids in the same room as a Catholic priest these days let alone allow them to be educated by one… so that’s also out.
“The border between the Real and the Unreal is not fixed, but just marks the last place where rival gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill.” -Robert Anton Wilson
Gay marriage is moving from the Unreal to the Real and, in Europe at least, the Catholic worldview is moving in the opposite direction. But not without ‘fighting to a standstill’. Here are some decidedly toxic swings from the last couple of weeks:
- Britain’s highest ranking Catholic says “gay marriage is like slavery.” What is it with Catholics and calling things slavery? Glass fucking houses much??
- The lovely Cardinal Keith again threatening to mobilise Catholics against it. Because historically, mobilising Catholics works so well in England. Jackass.
- Gay couples are “just lifelong friends.” Reading this piece was when it occurred to me there was a post in all this bile. Because this celibate, much-more-likely-than-average-to-fuck-kids shitbag has decided he “really knows” what my relationship is?
And just in case you get the impression this is a beat-up on the Scots, let’s have a counter rant from one of those comic/occultist/stoner/writers that Scotland is for some reason eerily good at producing, Frankie Boyle:
The late Pope John Paul II was beatified. It’s claimed he cured a woman of Parkinson’s disease. She said it was such an amazing feeling that she’s not been able to stop shaking ever since. If they’re looking for a second miracle, I’d suggest keeping a lid on decades of kiddy fiddling would be in with a shout. When JP II becomes a saint it means people can pray to him directly for help and advice, such as, ‘I’ve got a dead kid bleeding from the arse in my vestry. Who should I call?’ Coincidentally, the Vatican is updating its policy regarding sexual abuse. It’s finally made it into the top 100 commandments.
It’s his trademark shocking hilarity, sure, but then in today’s paper is Catholics “castrated at least 10 boys” for fear they were gay. And it was desperately and unsuccessfully covered up. That’s extreme child abuse even by church standards.
And I suspect that either Jason or RO (don’t know much about the rest of you and Jesus TBH) is going to say “something something liberal pastors something something”. Fine. When the liberal pastors are trying to be President we can entertain that discussion but I put it to you that it just isn’t their time yet. At the moment the power structures are entirely toxic and utterly indefensible.
There is no amount of nebulous charitable uplift that balances out castrating children or covering it up. None. Pretty sure it’s “for where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” not “for where televised megachurches of hate sponsor Republicans…” The discussion is binary as far as I am concerned.
The toxins need to be washed out first. How do you do that?
You hold the line.
Something my psychiatrist father taught me was never to argue with the mentally ill.
What’s the point?
And make no mistake, believing that the creator of the universe has simian reproductive organs or cares what you do with yours indicates you aren’t right in the head. The cosmological beliefs of that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex are insane.
In the UK’s situation –much closer to the preferable end game we all seek- the best course of action is to hold the line and wait for the world to change around you. Which it is doing.
I’m personally sad to see him go because he’s clearly secretly pro-gay-marriage (my guess is he’ll say so day 1 of his new role). What other Christian world leader says the Bible is a metaphor and has a criminal trespass conviction from protesting against a US nuclear facility on British soil? (He was singing psalms at it.)
Can’t fault his apocalypse tactics, though. He’s leaving a field of battle that he knows he can’t win. Plus he’s landed the most amazing job where he seriously has to do nothing and it probably comes with a sweet house. Hat’s off to you doc. In my eyes you’ve almost earned it.
Being on the wrong side of history never works out. Liberalism will ultimately split the Anglican church into the backward anti-gay, anti-women African dioceses and the empty English ones. (Though I would personally attend a church that split onto the correct side of the women/gay camp and I know I’m not alone there.)
So hold the line. Don’t give any ground but don’t bother engaging, either. A worldview as bigoted and outdated as this one needs no extra assistance in collapsing. This is a permanent ‘downward market adjustment’ -they’re moving from being the lungs of civilisation to the appendix or possibly the vestigial tail. That’s the upside of apocalypses. Already more sane people are coming to the fore to replace them.
It is remarkable that, from an actuarial standpoint, it is highly likely that I will witness the legalisation (equalisation?) of gay marriage and the long overdue removal of the Lords Spiritual from the House of Lords. In our apocalyptic lifetimes we have the very real possibility of replacing the toxicity that spread so much hate and abuse for centuries with the infinitely preferable marriage of Reason and Tolerance.
Even if they are both chicks.