Some Magical Tech For Your Christmas Stocking

Some Magical Tech For Your Christmas Stocking

christmas tech title 2We never had Christmas stockings growing up.

We didn’t have a fireplace because Australia needs no extra assistance periodically bursting into flames so stockings would have just looked like… laundry.

I was always suspicious of them, anyway.

The term ‘stocking filler’ made me uneasy. Are you saying you haven’t put any thought and only very little money into my gifts? Are these items just bulk like over-microwaved green beans in an airline meal?

Or is this sock seriously it for gifts? I’d like to see the stocking that can fit the red Tonka truck I specifically asked for. I would actually like to see that stocking, it’s not a joke. Because I also want a new sleeping bag. Chop chop.

Not that I would ever do such a thing to you, my darlings. But here’s a few pieces of magical tech that I can’t really build individual posts around that I am happy to share.

Tis the season.

Stocking 1

Covent Garden. Christmas 2012.

Chaos breath

When it comes to disrupting your enemies you are supposed to send them love.

Screw that.

It’s magically suspect behaviour when it comes to meddling in global geopolitics, anyway. Far better to blow holes in the apocalypse with chaos. Enter the chaos breath.

  • Find an image of the target person, institution or situation somewhere online. No need to print it out. Just look at it for long enough that you can easily recall it.
  • Set up your magical space comme à la maison.
  • Enter a light trance as if you were about to activate some sigils. Jason’s The Sorcerer’s Secrets has some very worthy breath techniques if you’re at a loss.
  • You’ll have reached the requisite state when everything in your field of vision looks ‘flimsy'; like everything in consensus reality has an invisible question mark hovering over it.
  • Recall the target image in your mind’s eye and breathe chaos into it. If you don’t know what chaos feels like may I humbly refer you to pretty much everything in your life and experience to date? If that’s not sufficient, google ‘octarine’ and have a poke around.

The idea here is that the momentum of history is finally back on our side. Instead of frontal assaults, all one need do is turn up the juice and watch the world burn. It’s a very pleasing sensation.

Bonus gift: Consider bulking out your shoals with specific, beneficial geopolitical outcomes. The water is no longer toxic so have at it.

South Molton Street. Christmas 2012.

South Molton Street. Christmas 2012.

Inverse sigilisation

This is based on some replies to a bunch of emails I wrote regarding shoaling from people who think there is actually a wrong way to sigilise an intention. (If there is, I haven’t found it and I’m wrong about everything.)

It works especially well for longer term goals that crop up with slightly different intentions/targets in shoal after shoal. *cough* weight loss. *cough* Similar phrases have a tendency to look like similar sigils once they are done and if the first few didn’t work then clearly the message is being misread.

In such situations:

  • Formulate your statement of intent.
  • De-dupe the letters and remove vowels to get your base characters for sigil formulation.
  • Turn the paper upside down at this point.
  • Generate your sigil from the now unfamiliar squiggles that once looked like letters.

This was stolen from my high school art class when we were being taught to sketch. I recommend it.

Sloane Square

Sloane Square. Christmas 2012.

Keep a sync diary

Wondering what to do with that pretty little notebook you were given this year?

How about a more useful update of a magical diary as its contents are (presumably) out of your hands. Like just about anything else you choose to focus on life, if you start diligently recording synchronicities you will up their frequency. Consider this a magical diary written by something almost as unreliable as you; the universe.

For me, syncs serve as important indicators that potential paths will be beneficial or significant. They also indicate when the universe is noticing you which can be used as opportunities for spontaneous manifestation.

Is synchronicitomancy a thing? It is now. This is synchronicitomancy.

Covent Garden Market. Christmas 2012.

Covent Garden Market. Christmas 2012.

Fast and dream

Not really a magical tech, yet. More of an observation.

I’ve been intermittent fasting for about six weeks and one of the unexpected side effects has been the amazing dream experience that happen after I fall asleep on fast days. In fact, I woke up one morning after a fast day spontaneously performing the chaos breath, which it where it came from. (“I Dream of Bibi”?)

It’s been fascinating to get some direct experience into why abstaining from food and drink is a cornerstone of so many mystical practices and states. As far as preparation for magical or goetic rituals is concerned, fasting tends to be one of the most assiduously ignored steps.

Promise me you’ll have a bash at it. Maybe pick an astrologically significant evening, mentally state an intention before falling asleep and see what happens. Or just fast randomly in January because you ate all the pies in December and then retrospectively look up the cosmic weather upon waking to see if anything correlates.

Oxford Circus. Christmas 2012.

Oxford Circus. Christmas 2012.

Hoodwink unpopular gods

It may surprise you just have many beings you have cultural access to without the risk of being called out on trespassing charges. For instance, I’ve been getting decent results from semi-apocryphal British/Gaelic folk saints from the early Christian Church. Saint Columba, Saint Olaf, etc. Praying to Saint Columba is praying to Gandalf for people who feel icky about incorporating fictional characters in their work. (Although calling Gandalf fictional is a stretch, if you ask me.)

This particular prayer format is a little bit offering/invocation and feels faintly Hindu. Basically you pray for them rather than at them. “I pray that your name be once more spoken across the land, I pray that new temples are built to the glory of your presence, etc.” After years of reading and hoarding magical books, it’s surprisingly easy to go off-script with non-specific, spontaneous prayer.

When I first started trying this out I used a kitchen egg timer to make sure I cleared at least three minutes of praying for a specific being -because three minutes is a long time. Then just before the end, added “I pray that the outcome of tomorrow’s strategy meeting is favourable to me.”

The unsophisticated theology behind this tech is that unpopular beings presumably have more open calendars than the popular ones. Whatever… it works.

Regent Street. Christmas 2012.

Regent Street. Christmas 2012.

Merry Christmas

There you have it, kids.

In all sincerity and from the bottom of my heart, I earnestly offer a merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine here in sexy, sexy London. Please enjoy this festive time lapse of the capital, lit up like the showy tart she is.


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  1. 2
    Andrew B. Watt

    Another one is to learn four or five origami folds, and combine it with your sigil magic. If the sigil is invisible inside of a paper crane or frog, it’s another level of mysterious obfuscation. You can also hand off paper cranes as small presents or thank you’s to people, saving the red ones for the targets of your work, and the blue or green ones as relatively innocuous. It also makes you more memorable to someone if you’re trying to leave a lasting impression — they can also be left at crossroads and doorposts and suchlike.
    Andrew B. Watt´s last blog post ..Poem: Star Election of Cetus

  2. 3
    Lance Foster

    Christmas stockings are useful for those little odds and ends that are fun but not big or important enough to wrap individually, plus little tasty goodies and candies. Mainly they are used to distract the kids so they have something to occupy themselves with so the adults can catch another half hour or hour’s sleep (hopefully), before the kids start nagging to open the presents under the tree….MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  3. 5

    Thanks for these, Mr. Soup. I found your blog earlier this year, and not having TV anymore occasionally spend an evening following all the links in one of your posts. Very enjoyable. I hope you are having a great Christmas.

  4. 6

    I’m actually quite chuffed to have found these little goodies in my virtual stocking. How thoughtful of you (darling!). The synchronicity journal is a must try. Just the thing for that little red faux leather corporate gifty I’ve been wondering what to do with. And the idea behind “hoodwinking” unpopular gods really sets the gears grinding in my idea factory. Hmmmmm!

    A merry Christmas to you and yours.

    P.S. @ Andrew: origami, eh? Double hmmmmm.
    Scribbler´s last blog post ..The slow train to Belgrade

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